Meet Marin Nelson: Bringing wellness to the workplace through Soberforce
This Q&A, facilitated by Jeremiah Gardner of the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, was originally published for Hazelden Betty Ford’s monthly Recovery Advocacy Update. If you’d like to receive our advocacy emails, subscribe today.
When the COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020 and society shut down, many people in recovery from addiction faced a dilemma: how to stay connected to the peers who support their health and wellbeing. All of a sudden, Twelve Step meetings and other healthy routines and mutual-aid lifelines were no longer available. But perhaps as quickly as any others in society, recovery communities adapted to overcome the challenge — drawing on the hard-earned wisdom of their prior life experiences. Almost overnight, a virtual recovery-support boom ensued. Marin Nelson, a regional vice president at the cloud-based software company Salesforce, was on the leading edge of that movement when she and three other sober sales leaders launched Soberforce — an employee-led resource group and fellowship that makes virtual support meetings and ongoing digital conversations (via Slack) available to all of Salesforce’s 75,000 employees around the world. Nineteen months later, more than 450 employees are members of Soberforce, which attracts people in recovery, folks curious about recovery, people struggling and seeking support for the first time, and family members with loved ones who are experiencing a substance use disorder. For Marin, 17 years into recovery herself, it has been a rewarding experience to not only identify a need and a solution but to become a public advocate for recovery within her company and beyond. We were grateful to touch base and learn more about her personal story and her experience launching Soberforce.
Q: What does recovery look like for you, and how has it empowered different aspects of your life?
Even after 17 years of sustained recovery, it is still truly one day at a time. While the desire to drink left a long time ago, my spiritual program is one that I need to choose to pick up every single day. Remembering that I’m an alcoholic, and that my primary purpose is to carry the message and help another alcoholic recover, still guides me. I recovery in community, and am reminded of my solution when I meet with other alcoholics in recovery. Truly, my sobriety is my foundation for life. I grew up in the 12 step rooms (as I got sober at 24 years old). Today, I’m a member of my community, my workplace, and a mom / wife / sister / daughter who is able to be fully present for the joy of life. I couldn’t say that when I was drinking.
Q: What does it mean for you to share your recovery with others?
Sharing my path to the rooms (what it was like), and how I stay sober today, reminds me that I’m not alone, there is a solution, and that it’s not nearly as complicated as I can make it out to be in my head. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share my story, whether with colleagues in a Soberforce meeting, in the rooms of AA, or over dinner with a friend who has a spouse or friend struggling and doesn’t know how to show up for them. We come to realize that sharing these stories that were once fraught with shame, are the very things that can quite literally save someone else’s life. I remember my first meeting clearly. I got sober in NYC and the very first time I sat in the rooms, I remember thinking “Why are these people so happy?!” but I wanted what they had. That freedom from shame, their bravery in owning their truths, and I learned how to claim my alcoholism not as my greatest weakness but as my greatest asset because it taught me how to be vulnerable and authentic. Everyone has struggles. Mine just happens to be alcoholism. But the power of claiming our truths is the antidote to shame.
Q: What inspired you to take action and start Soberforce, and what challenges and rewards have you experienced in your personal recovery journey as a result?
A few fellow sober sales leaders and I connected during fall 2020, pre-vaccines and about 6 months after the world shut down. We shared our stories of people in our recovery communities struggling with relapse and accelerated alcoholism, and our own fears and challenges with isolation, given we were now in a fully virtual work environment. We all had long term, sustained sobriety, and yet the power of connecting and sharing our stories with each other was incredibly healing. We realized, people alongside us, at work, they must be struggling too. So we got to it and created a community for our sober, sober curious and sober ally employees. Our goal is to destigmatize addiction by bravely sharing our own stories of recovery and create safe spaces for all. We said “if we can help just one person, this is all worth it.” We’re now at 450 members and growing each month and a ton of our members are less than 1 year sober. It has truly been my proudest work of my entire career. To be part of creating a community where people for the first time feel safe bringing their whole selves to work — a place where they can claim their recovery from addiction and not feel shame or isolated. To show others that yes, you can have an incredibly successful sales career AND be sober. And to demonstrate to the broader community ways to connect that aren’t centered on alcohol has been so rewarding. I truly haven’t experienced challenges — I’m lucky to work at a company that had a framework and a culture in place that supported this idea fully. But it’s been truly grassroots, employee driven. And there’s no way I could’ve done it alone, so I’m incredibly grateful to my co-founders and all of the members who have joined us.
Q: How do Soberforce meetings and your group’s Slack conversations resemble virtual Twelve Step meetings, and how do they differ ?
We are super intentional to be clear that Soberforce is not a replacement for any sobriety program but rather a community in the workplace. However, we do have quite a few members (likely the majority though we’ve never done a formal poll) who are members of 12 step meetings. Our monthly member meetings start with a review of our vision statement, celebrations of recovery, and then a share from a member on a different topic each month. I had the privelege of sharing at the last meeting on “Sustaining Sobriety and Seeking Serenity in times of Stress” — a topic most everyone can relate to after these last 2 years. We then open the call for Q&A or shares from the members on. We have an anonymous dial in capacity as well for those who are not yet comfortable being known as part of the group. We want to respect everyone for where they are, but still provide all access to the content and discussion. This is why our Slack channel is public as well. The conversations on there can vary from things like “I’m going to my first work event sober. Any tips on how to answer questions if someone asks why I’m not drinking?” to “I’m grateful for the sun shining! What are you grateful for?” Checking the Slack channel is always a big boost for me — to see the community support and love for each other is awe-inspiring.
Q: What have you learned through 19 months of shepherding Soberforce that would be helpful to others? What has surprised you?
Try to find sober peers willing to get in the boat and launch it with you. Find an executive sponsor. Ours is my mentor and Salesforce’s Chief Design Officer, Justin Maguire. They’ll provide you with support, visibility, sometimes budget, and access to execs. Partnering with the Benefits and Employee Success teams has been great too. Salesforce has incredible benefits and we’re constantly seeking ways to make those easier to access and navigate in times of need. And just be bold. Don’t wait for a perfect moment. People are struggling and need your light of hope now.
Q: In what ways is Soberforce destigmatizing addiction?
By claiming our stories of recovery, we’re showing what an addict and alcoholic in recovery looks like. I’m a big believer in representation matters. I’ve had members of the group tell me that they heard me on a podcast and just knowing we had this group gave them confidence to go to treatment, knowing that they would have a community to come back to. That gives me chills. Our stories are so powerful when we’re willing to share them. And trust me, I felt nauseous before I posted the first message when we launched. Like, “am I really about to out myself to all of these colleagues?!” But then I remembered our agreement, “if we help one person, it’s worth it” and hit “submit”. Within 5 minutes, no exageration, a colleague whom I’d worked closely with in years past, texted me on my cell and shared that he had just seen my post, was 6 days sober, and needed help on what to do. It was immediate feedback from the Universe that yes, this work matters, keep going. Our opportunities to be of service are truly endless and the workplace is a great place to start (assuming that the culture is supportive, and it feels right to you to disclose).
Q: What would you like more people and workplaces to understand, and do, about recovery?
I think just the realization that addiction and alcoholism impacts 12% of the population and the vast majority are employed full time. The perception that we are unemployed and homeless persists, and it’s simply not true. We’re the colleague, friend, family member suffering in silence beside you. When we share our own stories vulnerably and authentically, we give other people to share theirs, whether they are about addiction or another struggle in life. And that is the glue that bonds us. My hope is that communities like Soberforce pop up in lots of companies (some already have!) and that in doing so, we can help more people who are struggling to seek help and do it sooner because they see that it’s safe to say “I need help” in the workplace. Recovery is SO very possible and I hope it for every person who is in need. It’s a gift to show that to others.
Editor’s note: Learn more about Soberforce in this article by our friend and fellow recovery advocate, Jen Gilhoi.
