Stigma, Overdose Deaths and Obituaries
This was originally published for the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation’s monthly Recovery Advocacy Update. If you’d like to receive our advocacy emails, subscribe today.
By Kevin Doyle, EdD
Often overlooked in the aftermath of an overdose death are the family members and friends of the individual whose life was lost. With almost 110,000 people lost to overdose in the United States this past year alone, countless others have been left behind to cope with all manner of emotion, from anger to grief to frustration to confusion.
Amid all of that pain, family members must also take on the unenviable task of writing an obituary. And with that responsibility comes the question of how open to be about the cause of death. Unlike deaths from other chronic diseases, such as heart disease or diabetes, those caused by substance use disorders are often not acknowledged, but hidden from view with phrases like “died at home” or “passed away unexpectedly” — one more way that the stigma around substance use disorders manifests its ugly head. We should not pass judgment on those grieving family members, but as we continue to confront the widespread epidemic of overdoses, would it not be helpful for us to acknowledge the cause of death in order to shed additional public light on the vast impact of substance use disorders?
As a reader of obituaries myself, I am often struck by how a life is remembered and celebrated, even when lost tragically — and I am moved when a family makes the difficult decision to disclose what really happened.
One such example made the rounds on the Internet within the past few years and was both heartbreaking and inspirational. In it, the family exhorted several groups of people to do better. To those with substance use disorders, they asked:
If you yourself are struggling from addiction, know that every breath is a fresh start. Know that hundreds of thousands of families who have lost someone to this disease are praying and rooting for you. Know that we believe with all our hearts that you can and will make it. It is never too late.
To those who might be tempted to react judgmentally about the “bad choices” the deceased may have made, they wrote:
If you are reading this with judgment, educate yourself about this disease, because that is what it is. It is not a choice or a weakness. And chances are very good that someone you know is struggling with it, and that person needs and deserves your empathy and support.
And to those of us who have made this our life’s work, they proclaimed:
If you work in one of the many institutions through which addicts often pass — rehabs, hospitals, jails, courts — and treat them with the compassion and respect they deserve, thank you. If instead you see a junkie or thief or liar in front of you rather than a human being in need of help, consider a new profession.
What a remarkable contribution from a grieving family — and what an admonition to those engaged in the treatment and recovery process to maintain the highest standard of care for the individuals we serve.
Kevin Doyle Ed.D., is the president and CEO of the Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies in Center City, Minn.
